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Because that is the boat that gets to Malé in time for the workshop to open the phones the same afternoon, and the boat that brings them back at the weekend.

One box a week also means one properly packed box, listed and weighed, rather than phones going down in somebody's bag whenever there was a spare seat. That is how things get lost.

It goes in next Tuesday's box, and we would rather say that plainly at the counter than let you hope.

You can see on the booking page which Tuesdays still have room. If it is urgent and you or a relative are travelling down anyway, we will pack and label it properly for you to carry yourself, and there is no charge for that.

Out on Tuesday morning, and normally back on the Saturday or Sunday boat, so about five days.

In the monsoon add a couple of days, because the boat is not ours and the weather decides. We will not give you a date we would have to break. Your link shows pending, confirmed or completed whenever you look, and we ring you when it is back in the shop.

That is exactly why every phone is photographed on both sides and its condition written down, scratches included, before it is sealed in.

We do it in front of you and you get a copy of the slip. In four years it has settled the question twice and both times it settled it quickly, which is the whole point of doing it every time rather than only when somebody looks worried.

Probably not. Book the charging and speaker check: more than half of these are a port packed with pocket lint, a speaker full of beach sand, or a cable broken inside its sleeve.

If it really needs a soldered repair, that is not work we do here and it goes in the box. We will tell you which it is before you leave the phone.

No, and we would be doing you harm if we said yes. It needs an ultrasonic bath and a microscope and somebody who does nothing else all day.

It goes in the box, and the clock matters more than anything else with a wet phone: bring it in switched off, do not charge it, do not put it in rice, and try to make the next Tuesday rather than the one after.